Hey look, buddy, I’m an Engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like “what is beauty?”, because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems. For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a new one.
You take a Swiss. You put him through something we call engineering school. Then you have an engineer.
Magic. And if he is not Swiss nor is he an engineer? No problem! He can still join.
If it doesn’t move but should; Use WD-400
If it moves but shouldn’t; Use A2 Hercules.
Charter? Who needs a charter? Who had that idea? Fire him.