Danger Zone Enterprises / LANA

We at Danger Zone Enterprises believe that everyone deserves to have their paramilitary needs met with
affordable prices, a zeal for violence, and grown men with real combat experience screaming
“DANGER ZONE!” over their comms—in a fleet consisting of high-end fighters, exotic interceptors, and a
logistical support system that might be sober a good 35% of the time.

We’re also big believers in asymmetrical response. What does that mean? It means if someone shoots your
freighter with a BB gun, we will catch them and their friends, hang them all by their necks, and try to make a
Newton’s Cradle out of their corpses! We don’t simply kill the target. We scrub the universe clean of their
progeny, so you don’t end up with a kid coming to gun you down in a few years while whining about some
jerks you paid to come by and shoot his folks for screwing with your company’s shipping rights and exclusive
contracts.

We don’t have morals. Hell, at Danger Zone Enterprises, we don’t believe in anything. We’re just here for the
profit margins and the space murder.

Rules:

1: Nothin wrong with me.
2: Nothin wrong with me.
3. Somethins got ta give!
4: No fat chicks. It’s a safety thing.
5: Don’t talk about Fight Club, some of us haven’t seen it.
6: Tom Jones is Okay.
7: Don’t be a Hitler.
8. Seriously though, have you heard Jones’ Black Betty cover? Its pretty solid.
9. Our Discord is more of a frontage road to the Danger Zone.
10. Danger Zone is a proper noun and should be capitalized unless you’re some manner of uneducated reality TV watcher.
11. Elevensies is fun to say .
12. Never stick your dick in crazy, unless it’s hot and not making you wrap up. Then dive right in or you’re a fuckin ‘mo.
13. I’d bury my dick in dat ass so deep whoever could pull it out would be crowned King of all England
14. The average age of Devon’s crushes.
15. The age where he starts to lose interest
16. No posting pictures of Margret Thatcher’s unbleached taint.
17. We’re still using “Phrasing”.
18. Jeremy Clarkson is Lord, and none shall be placed before him.
18a. Unless It’s Brock Samson or the Stig
19. Our forums icon is a photocopy of Gianna Michaels’ naked ass on a copier-bed, but looks like angel wings.
20. Always wipe front to back.
21. All members must become visibly aroused when Monster Magnet is playing within earshot.
22. Spell check wants me to correct “Gianna Michaels’” but I’ve been using internet porn too long to doubt my spelling of that name.
23. It ain’t easy bein cheesy
24. Mormons are people, too. Barely..
25. No locking Devon in the bathroom of his space ship, that’s mutiny!
26. Always kill clean. Don’t let dames get in the way.
27. Do not look away from The Nozzle.
28. No mission will be approved unless the client can provide us with dick pics
29. If you don’t want to take a swing at the biggest baddest mother on the block, you don’t belong here
30. Same goes for lighting farts in an oil field
31. If it’s brown: flush it down
32. We run Barter Town
33. I think we’re just channeling dead crazy people
34. Balls deep is more than a saying, it’s also a really uncomfortable call to emergency services when the vacuum won’t shut off.
35. Even though we have a token black guy, no use of the N-word in forums posts. Its cool in Teamspeak, tho
36. We ain’t fartin on no snare drum
37. Suffer not the Furry, the Brony nor the ERPer to live. Embrace them with the cleansing fire of unrestricted warfare!