Pandemic Legion / HAZD

The Plight of the New Guardes

Stay a while, and listen. And i shall tell you the story of the War of all wars, new guarde vs olde guarde, [MODERATED] vs [MODERATED].

It all started when the great finlander got so burned out of killing BOBbits that he walked into the wild for some time. Enter two heroes, young and naive, The Italian stallion Gobbins and Jogyn the Conqueror, desperately trying to fill a pair of rather large, [MODERATED] boots.

They quickly started 0wning in the region of curse, Gobbins with his bomber fleets and dominix fleets. Jogyn with more conventional PL fleets such as geddons with no guardians. Their main enemy was NestorX85 of the Atlas alliance, Padawan of the coward Bobby the atlas, well known for never ever engaging.

Good times were shared, and it was a relaxing era for the Legion, who fought shoulder to shoulder with their bros TNT alliance and their friends Goonfleet foreign legion.

Enter saint schala, Olde guarde deluxe, well known for the rage quitting PL twice and stealing everything the 2nd time (alas this was 2 yeasr before). Saint schala camped a lowsec gate when the young capsuleer Anuqet jumped in, and as he did a wild 4 battleships started owning poor saint schala. Saint schala then selfdestructed and got very very smacked.

Alas, saint schala was not alone. Aiding him, the notorious [MODERATED]WAFFES that i no longer remember the name of, but i bet zentral was one of them. In a huge 20 pages thread people were madly screaming in each others faces, about honour and stupidity, and this is when Viper/professor snape first took a stance against the Olde guarde and even Saint shcala supporter Tobruk was chocked. At this time even the famous GrathTelkin was a hater.

Saint schala then ragequit Snigg, resulting in a small but bloody success for the heroes of the new guarde. Yes, they did vanquish SaintSchala, but they did it with a bang, and as such, they had awaken the queen of olde guarde.

Mazziliu, sworn enemy of all that is good, set a plan in motion. Operation It Is Not Funny Any More (OIINFAM)

And such, our young hero was silenced. High on their victory, the olde guarde celebrated. More anti Gobbins threads were made, and the former enemys of Mr rive and Narciss sevar teamed up against the Italian Stallion.

And this time, my friends, is known as the dark ages. A time of terror and dispair. A time of losing lowsec dyspro moons.

In painfull realisation, the olde guarde realised that Jogyn had to be freed, so he could unite with his bro the gobbins and save the legions crumbling empire.

And save it they did, and more.

With Nestorx85 atlas hordes crushed, the legion looked to the north east. Viper silver tongue had whispered words sweet as nectar in the ears of great leader shamis orzoz. To cloud ring we went, and times were good. A new hero emerged, Elendar the elf, and with him the Triumvirate of Euro owners was completed.

With viper shizzle leading US tz solo with surprising effect and EU tz triumvirate with help of spymasters mankell grenze and even xxxangelxxx we crushed. SOT alliance and ev0ke was also around, even cry havoc, this we shall not forget.

Ownage was had. And the old guarde were grinding their teeth in silence.

IT alliance invades fountain ending the chill. Team oshit is put in charge of the defense, since we were after all the best of the best, alas there is nothing to be done by the hordes of ITs. In a valiant move, typical of brave leader shamis, y-2 happends and bloodied and dying we move to Geminate.

Somewhere around here OSHIT leaves on good terms and with their head hold high. Grath joins SNIGG, Gobbins own other places, mankell takes farewell and heads to fountain/gk and the triumvirate of euro own joins NESW.

Times are grim. Wizstecia (not getting enough cred for this) is the only one leading fleets and only getting 11 in gang. Times are grim indeed, olde guard nor new guard is anywhere to be seen.

When suddenly, like gandalf the great finlander re appears for some time, and he brings with him the armor hacs. A couple of team RUS motherships killed later we are back in form.

Enter fintroll aka billymerc aka the creater of pandemic mercs. “WELL HI HELLO VUK LAU, GIVE US 100B AND WE SAVE YOU FROM MAX2” he boldly says. And vuk lau wildly respons “o0k!”

Off to delve we go. Uncertain on this US newguarde fintroll, EU tz makes piece with him and much 0wnage is had. So much ownage is had that even grathtelkin buries the hatchet, and while keeping a respectful distance, even tobruk joins in.

Alas, watching all this ownage and good times, the olde guardes do not like it! King of olde guarde banning and being gay, theadj comes back from inactivity! Mad with loosing an entire faction deathstar constellation with 150 posses, he is looking for some1 to kill.

And he finds slackjawed, the new snigg logistical duder. And he bans him. And he bans him again. And then again.

Desperatly, the new guardes send an petition to great leader shamis. And in a shocking turn of events, shamis strips adj of his admin. Adj, mad without power, rage quits.

RAZORGOON phreze joins the ranks of the new guardes. ELISE RANDOLF joins the ranks of the new guardes. GOBBINS returns. The remnants of the olde guarde fades away, and they pretend they were never olde guarde to begin with, much like nazis after ww2 pretending they liked the jew all along.

Brofists all around.

And that my friend, is the story of good and evil, and how new guarde beated the olde guarde, and is now running the alliance.