IE11 is no longer supported
We do not support Internet Explorer 11 and below. Please use a different web browser.

Bad Medicine / BMED

  • Corporation
  • Casual
  • Role play
  • Security
    Security
  • Transport
    Transport

“Good morning. I’m Doctor Artorio, your medical professional for this consultation, and I’m not interested in your bullshit.” — Dr Francis Artorio, founder of BMED and runner-up Doctor Congeniality 2939, reassuring an anxious patient.



History

BMED’s corporate history will be unveiled in the near future. We appreciate your patience.

Bad Medicine cannot be constrained by the limits of one pitiful website! Follow us on Twitter also.

Manifesto

The Basics

No-Bullshit Health Care

BMED are a community of medical professionals united by the common belief that a good bedside manner is secondary to controlling blood loss. We are committed to providing an affordable, high-quality medical service that begins with a broken, battered or otherwise dying patient and ends with a living, breathing badass. To that end, it is often necessary for you to shut the f—k up and let us work.

Screaming is encouraged. Non-verbal screaming is a pain indicator and therefore a sign of life – we like those. It’s the other kind we don’t like: “Oh god, oh god, I’m dying.” We’re the goddamn doctors, we’ll tell you when you’re dying. Stop being a pussy.

How We Operate

BMED are a largely decentralised medical service covering as much of the UEE (and beyond) as our resources will allow. We are best known for our travelling doctors and medics – Nomads – who respond to callouts and emergencies anywhere they may arise. We support our personnel whenever possible with callouts and supplies, but those operating in remote regions often find themselves relying on whatever assistance they can get. If you are in a position to support a Nomad with medical supplies, fuel or credits, please consider making a donation. The life you save may be your own.

BMED offer their services to all without prejudice. We do not care if you are a pirate or the Imperator himself; we are concerned only with putting your intestines back in your abdominal cavity. We go where we have to and do what is necessary to save your life, whoever you are. However, we are not idiots, nor are we pacifists. At all times, BMED professionals are encouraged to use their discretion in responding to callouts; we fully endorse any decision to withhold their services if they suspect a threat to their personal wellbeing. If you attack or rob our people, you will be introduced to our highly-trained hatchetmen. Further, if you are stupid enough to get yourself put on our blacklist, you’re on your own, cowboy. Permanently.

As we are few in number thus far and travel times are long, we appreciate your efforts in calling us for genuine medical complaints only. We do not appreciate being dragged halfway across the galaxy for a laugh. If there is no emergency when we arrive, rest assured that there will be before we leave.

Drawing the Line

Some misinformed orgs with whom we have worked closely in the past have begun to think of BMED as an intelligence asset. This is a mistake; BMED’s calling is health care for all. We strictly observe patient confidentiality; we do not gather intelligence for PMCs, militia or pirates, and rely heavily on trust and goodwill from factions on both sides of the law to pursue our goals with a minimum of interference.

Neither do we offer combat support, transport or logistics support (beyond a medical service) outside the org. If you are a wanted criminal with bounty hunters waiting to kick your door down, we are not your ticket to freedom. We will stabilise you and set you on the road to recovery, but escaping the consequences of your actions is your problem.

All of this means that BMED professionals are usually at some risk of damaging their reputation with various factions. But that, as they say, is the nature of the job.

The Future

Currently, the haziness of the future of medicine in the galaxy makes it difficult plan in the long term. BMED will pursue it’s goal of reliable galactic coverage to all people as far as it’s resources – both human and financial – allow. Given that we live in a tumultuous galaxy and that slaver attacks, alien intruders and disease epidemics are a daily threat, it is likely that we will seek to build a fleet of org-maintained ships to respond to events as they arise. For now, however, we are chiefly concerned with staying on the bleeding edge of medical advance and delivering our services in as effective and trouble-free a way as possible.

And not listening to your pathetic whining. Because we care.

Charter

Under the BMED Umbrella

The Rules

The jobs we ask you to do are dangerous enough without crushing you under an inflexible set of rules, so BMED keeps things fairly simple.

1. Respect your fellow members.
2. Uphold BMED’s reputation for trustworthiness and discretion.
3. Support the org with labour appropriate to your chosen role.
4. Observe the Blacklist – it’s there for a reason.

In return, we offer:

1. Emergency call-outs or contracts as they become available.
2. A buddy system to help you learn the ropes and build ties. Little bondage joke there. Ha. Ha.
3. A choice of roles within the org, with a wide range of commitment levels and duties depending on your needs and spare time.
4. Cutting edge medical expertise, equipment and advice.
5. The opportunity to experience any and all facets of the medical career.
6. Logistical support.
7. Protection – or, failing that, fiery vengeance.

The Right Stuff

We want people who, when asked, will travel across a solar system and put their lives in the hands of untrustworthy sons of bitches for the privilege of saving their worthless hides from the cold grasp of death. This includes doctors of all skill levels, security personnel, pilots, managers and logistics specialists. A flexible approach to the law will also be very useful.

Being a BMED member – especially a Nomad – means lots of travel and lots of danger. You will be called on to make vital decisions, such as “Do I want to save this person’s life?” For BMED, the answer to that question is made before we join: life is precious, no matter who you are, and we will move heaven and earth to preserve it. However, their life is not the only consideration. As the man or woman on the spot, only you can decide who your greatest responsibility is to and whether the rewards are worth putting your neck on the line. Remember, if some big ugly bastard decides your face isn’t arranged to his satisfaction or (worse) wants to steal your stuff, it’s going to be that much harder to help the next poor sap to have an arm bitten off by a rampaging snark. Sometimes, no matter how it rankles… or, you know, not… you just have to let someone die.

That said, BMED is here to provide protection. We maintain our own cadre of security personnel who accompany you on every call-out and keep the knives from your back. You’ll still most likely be outnumbered and outgunned, but you won’t be alone or helpless. In the end, if the worst does happen and someone punches your card for you, the full weight of BMED’s resources is available to be thrown against the sorry asshole who did it. We value your life above all others, and we guarantee the hammer will fall on anyone stupid enough to end it.

These are are the qualities BMED requires of all our members:

Maturity. We like a good belly laugh as much as anyone (see the bondage ‘joke’ above), but some of us are also very dedicated to what we do. Be reasonable with your jackassery and everything should be fine.
Discretion. BMED’s most effective tool is trust. Trust will get us places we have no right to go, and trust will get us back out alive. Without that trust, the org is crippled. Protect it religiously.
Competence. There are a number of roles that are useful if you want to join us, but you must be able to perform your duties reliably.
Courage: As has been said, the job is a dangerous one for everyone. Keep your nerve.
Decisiveness: There will be times when you’ll have to make life or death decisions under pressure. Don’t hesitate. Even a bad decision is better than none at all.

If you possess these qualities and have a strong interest in medicine, security, exploration and transport, you could be the kind of member we need. If you excel at them, you could be one of our elite – the Nomads.