Curse of Wedding Veil Nine Commentary

Gnome

Posts: 519

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BTW this is for the Fan Fiction Curse of Wedding Veil Nine by DWPenner
I thought perhaps I might open a commentary thread in case anyone wanted to make comments, but didn't want to in the story thread. Also I could make comments myself without destroying any immersion.

If you wondered, although I have a general plan on where the story is going and how long it will be, I am writing this "on the fly". Sort if from the cockpit seat rather than having plotted every move out in advance, rewriting the first instalment after the last is put to bed. So the style that I am writing it in may be seen to evolve as I go. If you are unhappy with that. I am actually sorry with your unhappiness and hope that you will forgive me and still enjoy the story.

It has been a while since I have written any fiction and this is getting me back into the saddle.

TTFN

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    Hi,

    Perhaps in a sense all Fan Fiction takes place in parallel universes from the RSI - SC - S42 Universe. Meaning that there are likely to be discrepancies from the actual persistent game. For instance, I created the Star System with the 27 Jupiter mass Jovian planet with the large ring system that includes rings with ice and rings with dust and rock orbiting far from... I am not sure now if I said it was K class or M class main sequence star. I know I was planning on saying. Needless to say the star is oranger or redder than the Sun and doesn't have habitable planets or moons.

    The teacher in me wants to include scientific tidbits and I try to check out the information from the game before including it as well. Not to mention doing calculations based on real world math and science on things like the Newtonian Physics and Chemistry. But I try to do that in small doses. However it is Science Fiction and Fantasy I am writing.

    The big point is that you probably won't find this place and there probably won't be two carriers of the size of a Bengal Class carrier to be found torn in half in one place... especially in the rings of a gas giant. ...or will there?

    Gnome Out
    TTFN

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    How soon should I put my story into the Fiction listing here? I was thinking I should wait for the final instalment.

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    Are people living through the inconsistencies?

  • JAP

    Posts: 141

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    I haven't found any inconsistencies too glaring so far. I'm curious to see how everything pans out (I haven't read your latest update *just* yet). I love the atmosphere you created, especially towards the beginning, but later on, now that more action is happening, I haven't quite found the same eerie, slight adrenaline rush kind of foreboding feeling that was there at first. It may just be that I haven't been in the same mood or mindset when I've sat down to read it ;)

    This is definitely one of the stories to hit the SC anthology that should be compiled and bound for the release date ;)

    One question though, despite the fact that this isn't a carefully planned story, are you aiming to write it as a short story (single climax at the end), or more as a novel (multiple twists and turns and concluding, rather than having a the big drop at the end)?

    *edit*

    Very nice... I was wondering what direction you were going with it, and I like this one. Now, How could a mission be created that would get that real 'freak out' feeling happening for players in the actual game?
  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    I wonder about that... I could create it if I were doing this as a "game master" of a role playing game. Meaning that I could set up a player or small group of players with the sensor info given in the beginning and a strong hint of what the data could implicate if they couldn't take the hint and then let their sensors take them to the ships. Either ship could take them on a similar adventure... though there would be differences... different things to find or not find. I mean there were things that I considered the main character finding. Things I thought too gory, things too silly, things too boring... Also there was pacing for a story. I also was writing to my current strengths. There is a character limit to the post sizes and I am writing to that with a definite endpoint to each post. It works out to a bit over a page to two pages on my word processor at 12 pt text. I find also that it is the amount of story I like to work with in a sitting. However I think that will change.

    Health issues had me stop writing for a while... I had hoped to have published a novel and a collection of ghost stories a year ago.

    I am not really a ghost story sort of person really. Which might seem strange? I am more a fantasy and science fiction. But I get bogged down in the science... I like to delve too deeply into the science and research every detail to make it work.

    With my fantasy... I create whole worlds and I use the same worlds for running fantasy role playing games in. One complement made me by someone playing in my games is "Unlike all the other games I have played in, I never felt like I could turn a corner or go around a hill and discover a blank wall... where there was nothing. In your game I felt there was always more world out there to explore." Well... of course I developed the whole globe in moderate detail to start and then increased the detail with more detail in the area currently played in, but ways to fill in any voids so that you'd never notice. However, as I was creating for story settings as well as for games and thinking perhaps of publishing for the game industry as well as using for novels... I felt the work worth it.

    I wrote my ghost stories based on the history of a small city I lived in and am still on the board of directors of a museum in. The ghost stories are fictional, but based on events and places in the city. I wanted to publish the book of short stories with small bits of history interspersed in it.That plus ideas on "telling" the stories. The stories were intended to be told to an audience, like school kids or... any other small group. I told stories to a few groups at birthday parties in the museum passenger rail car.

    I do have to admit that my writing is better than it was 15 years ago and much better than 25 years ago.

    My next projects will be much better.

    Now I need to teach my fingers to type "hangar" and not "hanger".

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    BTW... it isn't easy for me to keep into a spooky ghost story mode while exploring a Space Craft Carrier. The tech keeps distracting me. LOL It is like the move "UP". There you go minding your own business explaining something important and before you...SQUIRREL!

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    "Curse of Wedding Veil Nine" was never intended to be biographical in nature about my game character. I just found I needed some sort of character in the seat of some sort of single seater ship and was using own visualization of what it would be like in that situation so it was very first person... that was how it became "Gnome". I guess I could have changed the call sign of the pilot to something else, but I just wanted to get writing and not fuss with the time. Sometimes you just don't want to roadblock your writing too much. However I am not the protagonist of all my stories and Gnome is not me. It's a character in a story and in a game.

    Isn't that right Jules?

  • JAP

    Posts: 141

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    And the story continues :D

    With the way you finished your prior post (not the most recent, but the one before that), I thought you'd be wrapping it up there.... but no, the intrigue continues...
  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    There is more to follow. I'd say more but... there's still some left to this story.

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    A bit more Classical style SF than Thriller in this one, but hopefully still of interest and I hope interesting material included. I use a bit of conjecture to stretch what little I know of the game and game mechanics. Did you know that physics tell me that trips in system will take 5 days to 2 weeks? That is assuming constant acceleration of 1 to 10 g. That might not sound like a lot,but it is actually a stupendous amount of acceleration. It also tells me that the ships will have artificial gravity and inertia-dampeners.... I don't see our characters spending one or two weeks in adult diaper and g-suits for weeks at a time. (I did the math on the travel times.)

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    I've been a bit busy the past day or so so the present instalment is a bit stalled in process... in the meantime if you want to see where "Curse of Wedding Veil Nine" got it's start, You can look here: "I hope SC will have intrigue and even a touch of horror"
    It is towards the bottom, I think.

    PS The link to the story "Curse of Wedding Veil Nine"s start page can be found in my signature graphic for now. Until I start another project that is.

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    After a bit of a gap... here is the next instalment. I hope you enjoy it.

  • JAP

    Posts: 141

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    I do enjoy. It's a complete change of pace and atmosphere, but I like it. There was only so long I could enjoy being kept in the dark, so to speak. It has all been explained, and now life continues. It's good.

    How's the story planning going? Have you decided on Gnome's next few encounters, or just winging it?

    Keep up the great work and I'll be waiting for the next installment ;)
  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    Some of Gnome's encounter is planned and some is being winged. There are parts that are a matter of getting from Point A to Point D... I am working on B and wondering about C. Actually pondering another connected arc to follow and how closely. As in do I want one to run into the next like it is just a continuing of the story or whether to make it a separate story and work on some other project in between. There is room for what is actually happening on the "Just Right Turns" and why Gnome is flying solo at the moment. ,,,I mean other than the fact that it was spookier with him flying solo.

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    I just did some double checking and confirmed to myself that I have the ship classes reversed in the 5th instalment. In the 5th instalment I refer to the Drake as being the Siberian Class and the Magellan being the Bengal... while in the rest of the story I have it the other way around. I sometime reverse things and don't have a reference manual for this story to refer to. I also tend to write in the wee hours being an insomniac. LOL Sorry if there is any confusion. However I think I shall stick with the Drake being a Bengal... it is easier to remember with the Drake being the ship that was looking for the Magellan and that the Siberian is an older class.
    TTFN

  • 12345678910

    Posts: 649

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    I absolutely love this! any news on part 18?
    Memento mori,
    Internet spaceships are serious business

    ad astra per aspera
  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    It is on the Word Processor... I made the mistake of attempting to use my Dragon Naturally Speaking program to dictate it and forgot that with the latest upgrade to Open Office, they stopped talking to each other so I had to dictate to Notepad and copy and paste.... anyhow that was frustrating and slowed me down. It is 3/4 done and I wanted to polish it to bring up the quality a bit. I felt it was getting a bit pale and not "shiny". It will be here very soon... like after a sleep for me.... PS I just picked up an Aegis Avenger and so now have the title of Rear Admiral! LOL I had planned for the longest time to re-purchase the Origin 315p that I melted to buy my Freelancer.... the two ships mentioned in the game ...and in my fictional parallel universe they definitely are a part of my transport and exploration company. But The Avanger... I had a second look at it and it is like the Freelancer's little kid brother. Like 1/2 the cargo, 1/2 the thrusters... but if you are careful about weapon load... it has good electronics capability... and I wonder what you can do with the two marking lasers.... anyway, I like it. It will show up in a future story.

    BTW the stories are coming at longer intervals for health reasons and because the volunteer charity work I have been doing has been taking more of my spare time.

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    Okay, Instalment 18 is up now. Sorry for the 9 day wait. I'll work on 19 as soon as I can.

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    I didn't want to start a thread for this...
    Wouldn't it be interesting if we could hang things like this in our Hangars?
    JustRightTurnsFleetpers.png
    The Gnome's imagined Fleet Gnomestead Transfer.

  • Gnome

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    BTW we passed 500 views on the story.

  • Gnome

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    If you hadn't noticed, in order to make it really scary, I included some math! There is even an irrational number! Twice!

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    I really can't say much about the story since people might read this without having read the full story to this point. But we have gotten well along in the story. I posted instalment 21 though I accidental labelled it 20 for 1 minute before doing a swift edit. But it's properly numbered now. Episode 22 will be pivotal and perhaps 23 depending on how long it runs.

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    Well
    22 is the number!
    That is the last instalment for Curse of Wedding Veil Nine! I hope you enjoyed it. Perhaps I might rewrite it some day. Perhaps I shall continue the story as a second story?

  • Major

    Posts: 87

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    Thanks for a great "yarn" with a different flavor than most other SC stories. You definitely have talent and I would enjoy reading more of Gnome and Julie's exploration.
  • 12345678910

    Posts: 649

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    great story sad to seeit end would be great if it was continued :)
    Memento mori,
    Internet spaceships are serious business

    ad astra per aspera
  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    Thanks so kindly, I have the seed for the next story, but am still working on plot, conflict, characters, and theme. The setting of course is the RSI universe — however it is a very big universe. You will more than likely see more of characters I introduced in the last instalment of Curse of Wedding Veil Nine. Like I said I have a seed for the story and in fact had an idea for the direction it would take even as I began writing "Curse".

    By-the-way... I don't expect I'll be calling it "Curse of Wedding Veil Ten". After all, I would have missed out on "Curse of Wedding Veil 3D" in time for Halloween!

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    I'm putting together a single file version of the story and proofreading it. I am a bit tired of proofreading it a third time... I'd prefer to be working on some additional graphics to go with. I have two graphic images included in the draft version already. I am doing it at double-spaced 14pt Arial and it is taking about 140 pages currently. I noticed I messed up the section count and so there are actually 24 "chapters" to the story and not 22.

  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    Here is the final version (Unless I find glaring errors.)
    Curse of Wedding Veil Nine (PDF)

  • JAP

    Posts: 141

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    Neatly wrapped up, I like it. I've saved that pdf already ;)
  • Gnome

    Posts: 519

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    Thanks, I put a lot of work into proofreading the story for the PDF and straightening up a few errors that crept in. I can only really proofread properly by reading something out loud, so I read the whole story out loud to myself yesterday morning.

    Keep your eyes open for:

    "Doom of the Bok Globule"

    I want to get a bit into it before I start posting it however. It follows up on "Curse of Wedding Veil Nine".

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